Sunday, October 23, 2016

Disco Inferno

Thank goodness for Village Life:
Son#1 went to the disco on his own, cycling together with a girl who lives down the street.
He came home at 10.
Bless those little uncertain eyes, that be-gelled hair, the home-made light stick.

It is Autumn break.
Last year I was lying in hospital.

The boys are going to Grandma's on Monday for a sleep-over (all 3 of them!!).
The husband and I will go to Maastricht on Tuesday, we think.
I can't imagine the house being quiet overnight. 
No child to tuck in?

Our electricity died again and Erik the Handyman came back and fixed it.
I started cleaning the attic, our room and everywhere else with sawdust and rubble.
Erik is handy but not clean.

We have a busy day ahead, finding all our stuff in the mess that is our house, packing for the boys, and hopefully an outing somewhere.
I've got cabin fever but no money after the medical aid ransacked my bank account.
Rehab wasn't cheap.


Friday, October 21, 2016

No TV, no problem

Erik the handyman is still not finished with the attic.
There is scaffolding and dust in our room.
I feel invaded...
Erik needs to finish up now and bugger off out of our bedroom.

We have had no electricity this afternoon (and no heating!! It's 6 degrees outside!!) with Erik tooling away upstairs.
Blessings in disguise though:
The boys have been playing with the Playmobil for almost 3 hours.
Every now and then they stuff another raisin bun in their mouths.
Son#1 is a Master of Creative Play, sketching the most fantastic scenarios with his brothers happily going along.

I'm too cold to move away from my nest on the couch.



Thursday, October 20, 2016

His Nibbs

Son#3 had a sick day with the husband while I went to work.
I wrote an article on dyslexia and then suffered through an awkward meeting with my boss.
She looked at me with doe-eyes, surely expecting me to be heartbroken about my job.
Little does she know that I'm clicking my heels like Wizard-of-Oz-Dorothy.

Son#1 is going to his first disco tomorrow night.
I'm sure it's not called a disco anymore, but that's beside the point.
I'm not old school.
I'm just old.


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Sick Bay

Son#3 sounds like Marlon Brando.
Son#2 is deaf, ears blocked?
I'm imagining waxy build-ups of at least 1 meter in length.
I stopped giving him asthma medication as it's turning him into Beelzebub, which is contrary to his nature.
Son#1 cries-rants over every tiny thing and disagreement.
His strange teacher sends me updates of his lack-of-calculations in maths class (he got the answers right, so what's the problem?).
He even had to stay after school to write down the calculations.

I have a meeting with my boss and the poorsennel (haha, get it?) guy to talk terms of my exit in the morning.

We shall see.


Monday, October 17, 2016

The Bigger Picture

Why did I doubt myself all these years?
All this time with zero confidence in my capabilities, not even imagining that I could do what 'they' did just as well, if not better.

And all these years of giving a shit: about work, the opinion and importance of others, about 'being unprepared' and what horror that phrase held.
It took me 42 long years to start figuring this out.
Hello, late bloomer!

My mother and I laughed over the phone this evening, about the great equalizer that age is, about getting old and grumpy, and not giving a crap anymore.
Aaah, liberation.
I can taste you already.

I had a meeting at work, totally unprepared.
Nothing happened.
Nobody noticed.
My spineless boss can't manage a meeting to save her life.
My colleagues can't distinguish between main points and sidelines.
I took a backseat to these people all my life.
How daft can one be?
But I'm learning.


Sunday, October 16, 2016

The Usual Suspects

We went to the Biesboschmuseum which was lovely, white and new.
We had the wonderful good luck of sunny blue skies and a balmy 20 degrees.
Son#2 decided not to cooperate, and we had lots of clashes.
Deep, visceral sighs.
He's a lovely kid but 'obstinate' doesn't BEGIN to describe his character.
The husband and I will go back one day, sans enfants.

Tomorrow, work only in the afternoon to be able to attend a meeting.
I'm counting the days at work (although a final end-date would be lovely).
We looooooove unemployment.
(We think).


Saturday, October 15, 2016

Mice (and Men)

We have a rodent issue.
Something gnaws loudly in the living room, goes quiet when the husband jumps up and down on the floor, then happily continues 10 minutes later.
Whoever/whatever it is probably throws us four middle claws.
Cocky sonofabitch.

The husband bought a rodent sonar-thing and mousetraps, last of which will be great as we found a drawer full of scattered mouse droppings this afternoon, amidst Son#2's excessive anger outbursts, a handyman, Son#3's tantrums for Star Wars paraphernalia and a sleep-over friend for Son#1.
We're coming for you, Mickey.

The mouse population ate my blooming vegetables in the garden, and feeding the birds is also out of the question after I saw a mouse doing the backstroke in the birdfeeder, full of seeds.
We're considering a cat, although the prospect of hair and scratched furniture puts me off all of a sudden.

Hopefully, #1's friend will bugger off early tomorrow, we can clear our bedroom from building debris and go do something lovely that doesn't involve wine (with which I'm more and more convinced I have a problem).
Horror of horrors.
A world without wine...


Friday, October 14, 2016

Calming down

Our handyman is soldiering on in the attic.
Hopefully he'll be done with plastering on Wednesday.

I took my car's lights to be fixed, €45 later and I decided that my credit card could treat me to a warm bathrobe for 10 bucks more at IKEA.
It is, after all, the largest part of my wardrobe (ahem).

A friend came home with Son#3, and I dragged them to  IKEA where I chucked them in the play area for an hour while I drank free coffee.
Then later a friend for Son#2 who seems to think that shouting at one's mother is an Olympic sport.
The day started off with Son#2 flipping me the middle finger over his oats, so he's on a short leash if you ask me.
But I'm thankful for the friend nonetheless.
Son#2 is an outsider (like his parents, who know what that's like).

The boys have rugby tonight.
I hope the weekend will be lovingkindness itself.
Sons#1 and 2 fight continuously and it is getting my goat.
Big time.


Wednesday, October 12, 2016


What bliss, spending my morning watching pointless TV.

It is 11 degrees outside, and Son#3 and I are wrapped in fleece on the couch.
The husband is stressed and so am I, although I'm ignoring work stress for the moment
(I have to wonder if this is at all effective: three words: pulsating back spasms).

Problems, deep sigh.
You can run, but you can't hide.


Tuesday, October 11, 2016


I told my boss off.
She's going to investigate buying out my contract.
I want to be done with them now.
Asswipes, they are.

Then I finished rehab. 
I cried quite a bit.
I'm really, really going to miss the entire rehab team.

Groceries with Son#1.
Home & dinner.

Sons#2 and 3 fell asleep in one fell swoop.
Not even the usual Son#2 Nuclear Meltdown prior to bedtime.
Is Son#2 sick?

We're being kind to ourselves.
And selfish: cancelling appointments if it all gets too much, for the kids too.
They are pooped, and so are we.