Foresight

What irks me, is that I have to admit that there are things I cannot do anymore, like standing next to the rugby field, or explaining to the kids why I cannot cycle right now.
What also gets my goat, is that I feel blooming tearful, often cry and complain of my (significant) pain levels.
Every day has roughly been the same for the past 6,5 months and I can't see this letting up.
I wish I knew, either way - to know what to expect.

Today I walked around with a devil on my shoulder, thinking I would rather disappear, until Son#3 told me I wasn't lonely because he was with me.
Bless.

Will things get better???
I don't know.
I seem to be unable to stand this ever-present physical pain anymore.
Fibromyalgia???
Who knows.
It's a bit of a bitch anyway, if you ask me.


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