The smoking gun

This year was different.
The husband and I both started new jobs.
We have grown closer, more honest, and I love it and him.

Son#1 started high school, struggling with focus and homework and a tempo he still hasn't grown used to.
We clash a lot in getting him to SIT, FOCUS, STUDY and BE INTERESTED.
It doesn't always help.
My first born also started heavy ADHD medication, and flashes in and out of puberty (because hell, why not?).
He remains a worry:  the school coordinator told me that he is Pupil Zero - the shining example of how the school should never, EVER approach gifted kids again.
Heartwarming (not).

Son#2 is doing better at school this year - apparently he is somewhat of an Alpha Male on the playground - who would have thought?
The Alpha with the tiny heart.
Mr Overcompensation.  
If you don't want to be bullied anymore, Become the Bully.
Mmmmm.

Son#3 still milks his baby-status, a bit bored at school, and we're still in two minds about sending him to a school for the highly gifted.
One can only tell in retrospect if a decision was the right one, after all.
We made a mistake with Son#1, methinks.

Aside from the fact that I fervently hope and trust that I will win the Lottery this evening, I also hope to drink less, eat better, sleep more, study hard and love even harder this coming year.
And think of the sick and displaced people around the world who only wish to survive this coming year, if they even think that far ahead.
Not only think of them, but DO something about it.

This year was good and bad.  
We did wonderful things - Canada and Amsterdam and museums and dinners together, 

Hopefully, when 2018 is done and dusted and I'm still around, I will have answers to health questions that still won't leave me be, and will I have a life that isn't defined by constant and pounding pain, fever and fatigue 24/7.
Some days I cannot imagine carrying on like this any longer.

I have a family and a job and one keeps going.

To conclude, I am thankful - for the family, for the job that kept me going despite pain and fatigue.
For trips abroad and closer by.
Enough money, enough food.
We're not displaced people.
Just a bit sick.
It can always be far worse.


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